Open Letter to "Clementine" - Simply Complicated Mom

Open Letter to “Clementine”


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You made me feel like Mila Kunis’ character from “Bad Moms” on Halloween.  Your clementines, your perfectly healthy and adorable class treat.   I truly thought I was on top of the dreaded sugar-filled holiday.  I had gone to the dollar store three days before the holiday and bought not one but TWO items for my daughter to pass out to the class.  (Mom props.) Then on the way home from  school my 7-year-old pulls out your clementine with it’s perfect hand-drawn, multicolored, symmetrical face (AUDIBLE GASP!)

The time this must have taken you to draw 25 tiny faces.  Did they all have different faces? Different moods, colors? So many unanswered questions I have for you?  Do you have only one child? Are you in a constant state of exhausted like me?  Did you do It to make the rest of us ordinary moms feel bad or are you genuinely concerned about the entire class’ sugar intake on Halloween? I need to know these things? Or do I? Probably not…What I do know is that my daughter ate your perfectly drawn clementine on the way home that day and the rest of her candy is still sitting in the pantry three days after Halloween.  So, great job Clementine maybe next year more people will be drawing on produce.

Am I the one that’s “gone and lost forever oh my darlin’ clementine?”

Chime in mommas?  Are you a produce painter? Or other end of the spectrum?

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