Four Lessons I Learned When I Went "Out!" - Simply Complicated Mom
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Four Lessons I Learned When I Went “Out!”

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Four Lessons I Learned When I Went “Out” After Nine is the title of this post, what it should be rightly named is “Reasons Why I Probably Shouldn’t Go Out”   Let me preface a bit,  When “Superman” and I met I was a fun-loving, wild, footloose mother of three (insert sarcasm here. )  The landscapes of our lives have changed and we have evolved, both singularly and as a couple.    I’m now a borderline recluse and I’m ok with that.  A fourth child, a small mental health battle, and turning 40 will do that.  My idea of fun night out now is a nice restaurant with close friends, a great movie, or a concert .

I’ve also come to realize that it’s not the quantity of friends,  it’s the quality.  The superficial need for me to go out and be seen with whomever at the newest hot spot is not a priority.    More importantly, my need for sleep has increased 10 fold and why fight a losing battle?   For all of these reasons I am rarely out of my house after 9pm.   My husband, Well that is a different story.  Lately he has turned into a social butterfly.  A Midlife Crisis?…Maybe, who knows?  I  really don’t care, or do I… I don’t know?  That’s a whole topic deserving of its own post someday.

I digress,  we  were invited out.   I hesitantly accepted  in an effort not to become ex-wife#3,  I’m not an idiot,  I know I need to stay abreast of the situation.   And this man does on occasion take in a movie with subtitles for me and eat Middle Eastern food.   So I decided to rally for the sake of looking like the fun and agreeable wife.  I  dug out my tightest spanx and my lowest acceptable heels for a night out and I faked it until I made it.  I also managed to have a little bit of fun while I was out too.   

These are the Four Lessons I Learned When I Went “Out” After Nine!

#Lesson 1 Pregaming”  now has a whole new meaning.    Instead of now drinking to get the party started,  “pregaming” now involves a nap and two coffees *in that order.

#Lesson  2  I am a very cheap date!  My tolerance is almost non-existent.  Which is hard to believe with my love of wine and margaritas.  For some unknown scientific reason Vodka in a club is stronger or a least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

#Lesson 3  I am 4 drinks away from Katy Perry, Cherry Chapstick & questioning my sexuality  Do I really have to explain this one?  (Refer to #3)

#Lesson 4 Hangovers last A LOT longer when you are older!  This hangover took at least two days to get over! Music is also a lot louder?  Aren’t there city ordinances about this-Yes I know how old I sound.

Bonus Lesson  #5  In a drunken stupor I ate half a bottle of tropical TUMS on the drive home because I thought they were candy.  I’m pretty sure this is what prevented me from worshipping the porcelain  God that night.

 

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