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I didn’t set out to marry a bodybuilder. He just kind of evolved into one. Now once or twice a year I share him with a gym, trainers, pose trainers, and a multitude of other people and a world that I will never quite understand.
What to Expect When Married to a Bodybuilder
And to be fair he does come to me every time to discuss aka ask if we can handle another physique competition. Specifically our marriage. After this last competition, I told him I would divorce him if he did another show. That was my gut reaction immediately following the show. Was I serious?..At the time yes. Now nine months since the last one, nope. He is eating like a human again and his horns have been filed back down. So we will stay married and he can do another show 😉
Please don’t take this the wrong way, I am so very proud of the amount of discipline it takes to get your body down to 3% body fat. My elbow doesn’t even get that low. I’m at a cool 35% right now and sitting pretty happy if my jeans fit! I’m just wanting to shed some light into what it’s like to me married to an ultra disciplined, boiled chicken eating, 3% fat kind of guy. So without further hesitation I bring you the in’s and the out’s of being married to a physique competitor in the bodybuilding world.
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly
- Expect to Purchase HUGE, I mean astronomical amounts of chicken breast. People will look at you sideways at the store when you throw 5 bags in your cart. You will do absolutely nothing fun with all this chicken except boil, boil, and boil some more. Wait, correction… on a weekend you can add a pinch of salt and grill just for grins and giggles!
- Unfortunately you WILL walk in on your husband shaving parts of his body you didn’t know needed shaving. And yes he will ask you to “get that spot I missed.” You will walk away feeling conflicted and questioning if you will ever be able to look at your husband with the same longing ever again (fyi you will) You are also going to wonder if you’re going to end up being one of those women whose husband had a lifestyle choice change halfway thru their marriage.
- Hubby will try to convince you and the kids that whole wheat protein pancakes are better than buttermilk pancakes. He is only doing this in an effort to convince himself. As he desperately tries to choke the dry pancakes down while everyone is devouring your pancakes soaked in syrup!
- He will be the biggest arsehole in the world pretty much all of the time. When you ask what’s wrong, Expect the usual growl of “FINE!” Ladies it’s not his fault he can’t help it. His body is basically eating itself for fuel… ok it is his own fault.
- Superman will basically live at the gym, which is OK at this point because as we discussed earlier, we really don’t want him around at this point anymore anyway!
- SEX, SEX, SEX- Yep, Wether he is doing a “natural” show or not, most are now anyway. He will probably be on some sort of T-Booster. So take this one as you will. Either hide, don’t shave, or enjoy this little boost and go with the flow. When he gets down to 3% and begins to dehydrate you and the “hello kitty” will get a much needed break.
- Posing- When you walk into your closet and find your man in his tiniest bathing suit doing his best Madonna Vogue impression and smiling like a serial killer. Please resist the urge to laugh. Trust me…lesson learned
- No white Sheets- Your husband aka George Hamilton look alike will give “Tanning Mom” a run for her money! Invest in a pair of dark sheets, you’ll thank me later.
When it is all said and done and your husband is on stage doing what makes him happy. All that you have dealt with for the last few months will have been worth it. To see him smiling with his overly white teeth, You will shed a tear of pride and scream a woohoo because that is your Orange Superman up there and he will be eating cheeseburgers and donuts with you shortly!